Block 30

Block 30
should have been posted

with Block 20.

But there was a problem,

I could not,

for the life of me,

remember the song I wanted to commemorate

in my blessings.

Then,

last night,

about 2:30 am,

it came into my mind.

I have been having

such an easy time going to sleep

that before I went to bed

at 1:30 am,

I congratulated myself

for falling asleep so easily.

WRONG THING TO DO!

I ended up

getting out of bed

at 3:00 am.

I couldn't find

 a comfortable sleeping position.

My mind was racing with thoughts.

My head and arms

had started itching.
So I just gave it,

got up,

came downstairs

and took the shower

I had planned on taking when I woke up

at a DECENT hour.

But,

back to the block.

Out of NO WHERE

the song came floating into my mind.

I can still remember,

for days,

if not weeks after the funeral,

getting my students busy on something

and I would just stare

out the windows,

up over the trees,

into the sky and think

the chorus of this song

over,

and over,

and over,

and over

in my head.

I never thought I would forget it.

But,

alas,

that was almost 30 years ago now.

Baby you find

There’s only one love, yours and mine

I’ve got so much love
And needing you so
My love for you, I’ll never let go

I’ve got so much love

 

All I want is to hold you

Let me show you how much I love you baby

I don’t mind and I don’t mind

Girl I love you

There’s no one above you

chorus:

You are the sun

You are the rain

That makes my life this foolish game

You need to know
I love you so

And I’d do it all again and again

 

Tell me it’s true

I can’t believe you do what you do

I’ve got so much love

And my love you’ll see

We’ll stay together, just you and me

I’ve got so much love

 

Only you

Move me

Tell me how to love you baby

Show me

I don’t mind and I don’t mind

Girl I love you

Always thinking of you

chorus:
You are the sun

You are the rain

That makes my life this foolish game

You need to know

I love you so

And I’d do it all again and again

 

I know you know

The way I feel

I need your love for always

When I’m with you

I fall in love

Again and again and again

 

chorus (repeat 4 times):

You are the sun

You are the rain

That makes my life this foolish game

You need to know

I love you so

And I’d do it all again and again

Up until now,

I had forgotten

that this chorus

was the tune I sang

over,

and over,

and over,

and over

in my head all the way

from Indianapolis

to home

after viewing his body.

At that time

I never thought

I would get over him.

And,

like I have said before,

it's 30 years later

and he still haunts me.

I don't like this video,

but when I close my eyes

and just listen,

I am transported back

to a very rainy night in Indiana,

both outside

and inside of the car.

Dear Lord,

I hope you are enjoying yourself. You have brought him back into my mind after all these years and he won't leave.

Please, Lord, make it go away. I don't like the painful memories floating around in my  head. The wounds that were caused so many years ago are still as open and raw as they were then. I know they will never heal . . but please . . let me get back to my normal life.  I miss him, but I miss the life I made for myself even more.

Amen.

Block 20

Block #20

. . . Wow . . .

this one was hard.

Jack Greene

was a blessing

in disguise.

Fall,

1968 . . .

and what a disguise to wear . . .

a high school sophomore,

drummer in band,

played right behind the brass section

so he was in my ear all the time.

Strange relationship . .

I last saw him over 31 years ago,

yet he is still a major part of my life.

He has been dead for,

Lord,

I can't remember how long now.

When he died,

the winds were taken out of my sails.

I cried all the way home from Indianapolis

the night I went to his viewing.

It was a dark

and rainy night . . .

just like in the stories.

So many things that

"could have,

should have"

and I do believe

"would have"

happened

were no longer possible.

Chances

for feelings

died the day I found out he died.

The cancer would have taken him soon enough

but that damn car crash . .

all I can say that fits is

"that

really sucked

big time ! ! ! ! !"

There is still

an empty space in my heart

held there for a guy

who tried to impress me

but didn't have to.

Hell,

he tore his pants

and I

had to take him home to change them. . .

memories from 42 years ago

and they are still as clear

and vivid

as that Friday night.

I had to find something

that would put the feelings I have

onto cloth.

Nothing seemed to fit . .

but it was a MUST!

Then I found a stitch called

Rhodes.

More specifically

the Rhodes Heart.

THAT was what I needed.

A heart pattern

that could be done in "green."

I smiled all the time I was stitching.

It was perfect . . .

except there was extra space

on the bottom.

Then,

Sam Jaffe jumped into my head . .

remember the beginning of the TV show

Ben Casey?

Man,

 Woman,

Birth,

Death,

Infinity.

I know it all started

in the Fall of 1968 . . .

but the feelings will last

through Infinity.

He has spent a lot of time,

recently,

here in Western New York.

A friend says

that sometimes those you lose

come back to visit.

He must have gotten

a great deal
on housing accommodations

because he has been here

for at least 2 months now.

The dreams are comforting,

in a strange way.

Last night

I even discovered

he hasn't been dead at all.

Woke up

before I could figure out

where he has been hiding

 the last 25 or so years.

Now THAT

brings a smile to my face.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for my love of music. Thank you for allowing me the ability and freedom to sing at the top of my lungs when the radio is playing something I like.

Thank you for giving me memories that go with certain songs. The memories vividly appear when I hear their intros.

Dear Lord, please don't take those memories away. They allow me to look back into my past, and feel the warmth all over again.

Amen.
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