Friday, July 2, 2010

I may be in and out a lot for a while . . .

I had a 1st
last Sunday night/Monday morning.

I am now
the proud owner
of a 100%
official
Anxiety/Panic Attack.

Where in God's Name it came from,
and when will the residue
from it leave my body?

Made an ER trip about 11:30 Sunday night.
Got home about 2:30 Monday morn.

I lay down and feel like I can't breathe,
so I open my mouth to breathe
then get panicky that my mouth will close
and that will be all she wrote.

Now,
I have had head congestion
 for quite a number of years
so why does my mind think
 my mouth isn't smart enough
to open
when the nose isn't working?

Went to primary care doctor yesterday.
All physical stuff is fine,
he asked when I was going
to see my "head" doctor,
although he was more politically correct
on her title.

I am waiting for her office to open so I can give her a call.
I talked to her on Monday
and wasn't sure I needed a visit,
but did get drugs
just in case . .
and Thank You God
I was smart enough to do that.

Now,
I am just hoping
my depression meds need
re-calibrated.

Started with Prozac 18 years ago,
changed to Wellbutrin
when the Prozac no longer worked.

Right now,
 the emotions feel like they did
when I realized,
those 18 years ago,
that I needed something.

Only difference now,
I'm noticing some claustrophobia
in the mix.

Can't wait to get it all on track.
Any thread work,
or my beloved crochet,
takes WAY too much concentration
right nope.

SO,
I am doing a little,
and when the "feeling" moves me,
I lay it down and relax.

More later,
and hopefully I can get relaxed enough
to continue on with the sampler . . .
Denise is already ahead of me
by way to much!

LOLOL

Later 'taters.

Oh . . don't take the pictures seriously
I juist thought they added to the
"Mental-ness" of what's going on.
At least now I can laugh at it . . .
some . . . :0}


3 comments:

Denise said...

Paula -

I hope things work out for you! Get better soon! Hopefully, it will be an adjustment in meds and all is well.

As for all of us - we'll be waiting for you to return!

Have a Happy 4th of July - I hope you can get out and enjoy it!

Smiles - Denise

tongfengdemao said...

Oh, I hope it all works out. My son gets panic attacks occasionally. Kind of scary. My husband has anxiety attacks... or did until his doctor found the right medication for him. I hope that's all you need, too.

Beansieleigh said...

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Hopefully, you'll be feeling better soon, but I'll say a prayer in the meantime... As for the rush project, maybe you don't need one more project right at this moment. I was thinking along the same lines as you though, trying to come up with a cute crochet idea. I was going to do a laminated bookmark, then punch holes around it, then with crochet thread, just crochet a little fancy edging around it! The only problem was that I didn't have the right crochet thread (or even embroidery floss.. I'm using all mine on my BLESSINGS!! ha! ha!), so I started sewing on lace, and well, you got the gist from there. If that sounds simple enough, you're welcome to use the idea if you want/can!.. Well, whatever you do, hope you're enjoying the weekend! Take care of you! ~tina

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Paula